I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
