Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize