I think im going to throw up on grandma
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My vagina just clenched in fear
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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