So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
