Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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