I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize