Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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