But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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