Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize