Just fell off a train. Bad.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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