He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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