I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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