Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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