Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize