Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
