I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Jerry, you need to find god
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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