If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
