we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
