we're blogging at a bar
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize