Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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