Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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