but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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