at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
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