I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
