ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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