:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
