my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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