Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
