Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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