ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
