just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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