I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
