jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize