Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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