For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Randomize
