I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
