No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize