Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i think i just lost a toe
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
