it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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