Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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