phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
