Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
