FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
