Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
