He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
