Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
These tits shall not be calmed
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