i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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