I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
