Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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