Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wear drunk well.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
