I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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