you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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