every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
