if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just made my gag reflex go away.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
