I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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