I wish I only lived at night.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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