I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
