Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
did you just send me my own nude
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
