So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dick very happy bro
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
