Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
