bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
