Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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