she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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