Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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